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Why I became an Atheist

I had come to the realization in 10th grade that Christianity and Hinduism couldn’t both be true due to irreconcilable differences. Growing up in the USA, you get a lot of Christian symbolism in television, movies, and sometimes in music. Even the use of the term “God” during the pledge of allegiance made me feel different because as a Hindu, I had been led to believe in a polytheistic view when growing up. I seriously began to wonder if Hinduism was really true around middle school. When I visited India as a kid (at age 12 for my cousin’s wedding), I realized that people really did believe in Hinduism and that Christianity was as vacant in the parts of India I visited just like Hinduism is vacant in the U.S., because there was no frickin’ way people danced around a fire pot for 8 hours to gain blessings for a wedding from various deities. That takes dedication . . . and I was on a rooftop with a bunch of other people sitting in the cold as some Hindu priest rambled on in some nonsensical ceremony while the bride and groom occasionally had to circle around the fire pot with him.

It was later on that I realized people just used their personal surroundings as a sort of “proof” that their religion was real because so many around them believe it. Moreover, I had to come to terms with the fact that if Hinduism is true then the majority of the 300 million people living in the U.S. and millions living in Europe were fooling themselves. By contrast, if Christianity was true, then 1.2 billion Hindus were fooling themselves. Worse than that, I had believed if Hinduism is true then believers of the Abrahamic faiths were condemned to live in misery in the world unless they recognized Hinduism – or in some cases end-up in some Hindu version of hell or reincarnation. To clarify, my belief on that was misguided as the Bhagavad Gita which I read years later clarified that all you have to be is a good moral person and that it doesn’t matter your religion (Hindu or not) to obtain Moksha (Self-liberation to either become one with Brahman or to beyond depending on the interpretation of whichever Hindu school of thought is believed in). Conversely, if the Abrahamic faiths were true then my entire extended family was being sent to hell since before I was born. So, I decided not to lie to myself about the negatives of religion.

By age 14, I became agnostic and began to question the meaning of life. Although, it was more accurate to say agnostic-theist; that is, I didn’t know whether there was a God or gods or not, but still believed. By age 15, I became an atheist-agnostic. And to be honest, I felt the shift from agnostic – that is, the feeling of being unsure of whether a God existed or not – to an atheist-agnostic was more profound and impactful to me personally. It was with the understanding that I couldn’t know whether a God existed or not, but that I didn’t believe in it on a personal level due to the comparisons I kept making. I was confused how anyone else could have confidence. If you were a Christian, then you must believe all non-Christians are going to hell. Muslim? Same thing. Jewish? It wouldn’t matter how many Christians or Muslims there were in the world and the appeal to conversion would stop mattering if Judaism was the truth. Hinduism, same thing.

By 17, I began to be acquainted with the New Atheist movement and it still has a profound influence to me even to this day, but it stopped having any significant role on my personal views when I went to college. Moreover, the Principal at the high school I went to made some spiel about the Abrahamic God filled with Bible passages. I learned something quite astonishing that day: that man probably felt like he was saying something deeply profound due to his personal relationship with Jesus Christ as his lord and savior — but all I heard was crackpot nonsense and a psychotic ramble. That high school principal didn’t know it, but upon hearing his heartfelt Christian sermon . . . I became a total atheist. He probably felt his heart elate and his feelings for Jesus Christ grow ever so strongly within him, but I felt nothing from his words. I compared it again with Hinduism and realized that the Hindu priest at my local mandir probably felt the selfsame heartfelt veneration for passages in his sermons about Vishnu, but I felt nothing from them. The Vishnu sermon at least made some sense to me, the Christian one sounded like a psychotic rambling from a crackpot making a conspiracy theory. It meant nothing and I felt nothing. The Vishnu one slowly waned as I grew older – although I hated the songs and felt annoyed by them as a kid. As for the Christian one, I had never felt anything from it even once.

From then on, college life began. After reading works like Chris Hedges “War is a Force that gives us meaning” since it was a required reading in one of my undergraduate classes and reading into his journalistic accounts of how religion and war can be blended to manipulate people; I found debates that he had with Atheist philosophers and watched debates of Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris, and Richard Dawkins. I found their views on religion interesting but I agreed with Hedges as far as international affairs. A Muslim Professor and Japanese professor’s (sorry, can’t name names) excellent classes helped me understand and empathize with the other side of the story better so that I wasn’t just getting the patronizing pro-American view that presented the rest of the world as backwards savages.

After thinking about it for some time and learning to fall in love with science after looking at youtube videos that taught me more than middle school or high school ever did (although, I became pro-science back in middle school but found the material boring too). I thought about religion throughout this entire time and came-up with reasons throughout this process on why I believe religion functionally impairs us as individuals.

As far as Hinduism, I’m sure you’ve heard the criticisms already. And they’re true. The sexism against women is abhorrent and I absolutely hate how India is like that. They haven’t socially changed because the religious system in place leads those of the lower class to believe that they only exist to serve the Brahmin class; who are seen as descended from the bloodlines of gods. There is no room for growth. Brahmin class individuals live a privileged life and don’t have access to education in rural areas so all they live by is their own anecdotal experiences. Their personal religious biases create friction to change. City dwellers are more educated and better off but there is still sexism and people don’t want to change their lifestyles because corporate-owned buildings tend to have no safety measures and cause massive fires that kill people. Small businesses are seen as a preferable alternative because you’re not going to be killed. Moreover, police and the mafias in India often work together and corruption is the norm.

The Abrahamic faiths have their own set of very serious issues. But please understand, I grew-up in a religion that is far more tolerant of the concept of blasphemy. Hinduism is freely decorated anywhere and it isn’t seen as shameful compared to the Abrahamic faith’s history of being intolerant to depictions of their religious figures. You still see it somewhat today with how people refuse to speak of religious beliefs and how negative depictions of figures like Jesus are seen as acts of blasphemy.

The chief problems that I’ve observed are thus:

 

 

 

 

Judaism and Islam have similar problems to Christianity’s denial of responsibility and belief that the world and humans are inherently evil. Christianity and Islam are just branches of Judaism in reality. Turkey’s genocide of the Christian Armenians was absolutely horrific and Israel’s systematic ethnic cleansing of Palestine in a manner similar to how the U.S. committed genocide on the Native Americans (with religion yet again being a major factor) and China’s systematic genocide of Tibet is the “neo-genocide” of our time. It isn’t always a total brutal destruction. Some countries have learned to do it systematically so that there is less scrutiny. Nation-States try to promote ethnic cleansing in these areas without outright saying it.

Moving away from that. . . on a more general level, the basic problem I see with all religions.

 

Ergo, it is narcissism. A religious believer praises “their group” as more important, see the positives of people on “their side” as better than all others, and believe that living in squalor for the true path of God is of greatest import and proof of their beliefs in the “true way.” They ignore other religions as self-delusional.

 

To exemplify what I mean though; consider these examples that exist due to the “Just World” fallacy:

  1. If a child dies in a third world country, then we will say to ourselves that they’re in heaven now to make ourselves feel better. It doesn’t change the fact the child died due to the neglect of their environment and the world at large. However, to keep ourselves mollified, we tell ourselves they’re in a paradise after death.
  2. If a child lives through cancer, a common saying is that God saved the child. If the child dies of cancer, then the child is with God so the child is no longer suffering and in a paradise after death.
  3. A war criminal slaughters thousands of innocent people and lives a wholesome life and dies of natural causes before they’re found or ever able to stand trial. We tell ourselves that they’re suffering in hell for their sins so we can continue to believe in a just world.
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