Why I wrote Ku Cuck Klan: The Family Values

I originally toyed with the idea of writing it as a satire primarily towards the Neo-Nazi movement and Neo-Nazi ideology. That’s mainly what it is suppose to be as it’s clearly not indicative of how the vast majority of Christians in the US behave or believe in. It’s primarily meant as an insult to race-based grouping and racial supremacist ideology.

Some people seem to believe racial supremacists are actually proud of their racial lineage and that’s what inspires their racial supremacist views. However, that is a severe mistake and a naive outlook to me. At their core, Neo-Nazis, the KKK, and other racial supremacist groups are merely jealous of the people they marginalize. They secretly hold hate for themselves and lash out at scapegoats by vilifying Jews, Blacks, Mexicans, Muslims, Sikhs, Feminists, Transpeople, and homosexuals as the problem for why they’re such complete failures at life. It’s not their irrational beliefs, it’s not their bigoted views, and it’s not their antipathy towards changing realities.

Evidently, people who value social justice, equality, and human rights are to blame for their total and willful failure to change and improve their lives. We’re to blame for their sorry state of pathetic. They wish to believe they’re poor because of bizarre conspiracies about Jews, because they like vilifying Black Americans as violent animals, because Muslims are all terrorists to their minds and they can’t distinguish between a Muslim and a Sikh, because so-called feminazis are whining too much, and because transpeople and homosexuals don’t belong in what they believe to be the natural order of their limited, narrow world of hate.

I had thought writing this satire would simply be creating more controversy. . . but to be honest, I don’t feel that excuse holds much weight anymore. The Left shouldn’t follow the lead of antifa, which allows their emotional hate to cloud their rationality and become just as violent as the neo-nazis. We should “fight back” as “SJW Cucks” with the same satirical disavowal that they’ve given us. Because, quite frankly, racial supremacist hate groups deserve nothing else. I can’t speak for others, but I knew better at age frickin’ eleven that racism was wrong and unjustifiable because it’s judging people based on a factor that they have no control over and were born with. Lumping together people of different ethnicities to cast a wide net as collective punishment is asinine.

What finally inspired me to write and publish it was my anger towards a former friend who began to empathize and later joined the neo-nazi movement. Evidently, neo-nazis have been recruiting on discord video game servers, and he fell in with them. I have never been so disgusted and disappointed in my life with someone. It worsened even further since many people of the video game community I had been a part of had displayed total apathy towards people holding legitimate neo-nazi views, calling racial minorities inbreds, and making Nazi insults towards Jews. The argument was that my beliefs in social justice were “old” and “boring” and “needed to be thrown away” with mockery at even arguing for equality of races.

I had the idea for the ebook as a humorous take on racist beliefs before, based on a prank video of a Ku Klux Klan community manager explaining they refused the application from a black applicant (who was really an anon troll using voice overs from several movies) because – and this is true – they honestly believe that Black people are part of the cursed sons of Ham in the Bible.

So, with that inspiration, I wrote an ebook where various White Supremacist groups and Evangelicals form a utopian society in the US and close themselves off from the world for the sake of blood purity and their faith in Jesus Christ. It honestly is meant to be satire to poke fun at White supremacist groups and to poke fun at their version of Christianity. I plan to write another ebook where I criticize Christianity and Islam via fictional explorations of their faith sometime in the future.

What finally pushed me forward though was the encouragement of two of my closest friends to mock the Neo-Nazi movement because they were feeling utterly tired of it too and thought it’d be humorous. I can empathize with those who hate having themselves and fellow White Americans generalized and lumped with what is clearly stupidity beyond reproach. The majority of White America, very clearly, does not and would not support tolerating Nazism.

Final thoughts on this contemporary issue of Neo-Nazi/KKK hate groups:

Don’t let the Alt-Right and Redpill hate groups deceive you. Nazism is a belief and a choice that you, I, and everyone else can criticize and repudiate. Free speech means they can hold those views, but they’re sadly under the delusion that their beliefs shouldn’t have any consequences — even as they advocate the genocide of Jews in their crowd chants; violently murder Sikhs, transpeople, Muslims; and vilify Black America and feminists with stereotypes.

Never forget: Neo-Nazis, the KKK, and other racial supremacist groups cling to “racial pride” and advocate death towards others because they’re jealous of them.

As proof? Racial supremacist claim to have ownership over the achievements of other people in history based on the tenuous connection that they were born with the same skin pigmentation as those who achieved great things. The root of that belief is jealousy towards others, because they have no achievements of their own to celebrate. That’s precisely why they find tenuous connections to claim superiority over marginalized groups.

Long story short: They’re pathetic. They’re hatred is unjustified and I don’t find it compelling that we need to appeal to their humanness when it means putting the lives of marginalized groups in danger. Sorry, but no. Their hurt feelings don’t justify advocating for massacring others.

I’m letting my dissent be known through mockery and satire. They’re not worthy of respect.

I know I’ve said some vicious, arguably hateful things about religion, but I want to make it clear that this ebook is about mocking neo-Nazis and bad beliefs in general.

Be that as it may, I obviously would never advocate, wish for, or desire the deaths of people of another religion or racial group, ever. When I criticize theology, I will admit that I despise those theologies for what I perceive to be justifications for human rights violations, but I’d never advocate for the deaths of innocent people or their marginalization. I can’t promise that I won’t make vicious criticisms of religious violence or religious theology itself, but I’d obviously never advocate for mass murder or that people shouldn’t have a right to their religious beliefs. I do think that I have a right to criticize, even harshly criticize, when I see human rights abuses justified by theology, especially in the real world context. But I would never advocate mass death and I’m sure that neither would the majority of the US. The statistics of that are on our side.

If you, like me, wish to mock the Neo-Nazi movement, then please consider reading my ebook.

When life gives you uncertainty…

So, I’ve had quite the challenging couple of months.

I managed to get a new, well-paying job, then upon finishing job training and exiting out of work after the first week, I was struck by an oncoming, speeding vehicle. The crash could have killed me since he hit the driver side door and my car careened all the way into a parking lot where it crashed into a parked car. Since then, I’ve been undergoing physical therapy and had to deal with severe pain in my neck, back, knee, and my left elbow.

I felt like I could recover, then my insurance company basically told me that the accident was my fault since there was no proof the driver was speeding (cases like this need outside witness testimony and nobody was there to witness the other driver crash into me). The police didn’t even do their paperwork right. Despite giving my name, telling them the car was in my father’s name, and giving them my license, they never bothered to listen to my side of the story. I’ve spent the past few months having at least four crying fits, in which I locked my door and shut myself up in my room just crying and been dealing with chronic pain and flashes of pain up until a few weeks ago. I will now be living with neck pain and potentially need to go surgery in the future depending on if it gets worse according to my doctor since they still don’t know yet.

My emotions have basically ranged from dejection, numbness, self-deprecation, and anger over the situation. What I say didn’t matter, my side of the story meant nothing, and the possibility of me almost dying meant nothing to either insurance company, the police, and the laws of society. I don’t even know what else to say, blogging about it feels just as worthless and meaningless. Nobody cares, that’s life. That’s been my life since grade school. That’s the only consistent answer society ever gives. Apathy and complicity to human suffering. A part of me wonders if I should feel ashamed about this, another part of me realizes someone somewhere is going to take this out of context and mock me for it.

Before the accident, I had thought I was weak-willed and would hypocritically think of a higher power if put in a position where my life was on the line. When I was struck by the oncoming car, I only thought of three immediate things: Regretting not being able to finish the other route in a game I was playing, not being able to write a fanfic I had been toying with the idea of, and how I viewed myself as a member of the atheistic branch of Hinduism and believed in certain parts of the Ubermensch philosophy espoused by Nietzsche. After that, I basically thought about how I wouldn’t be able to finish the book criticizing religion, if I died then. Although, a part of me is tired of trying to improve my life and only seeing failures and punishment. I’ve just been passing the time by playing the route of the video game I had yet to totally finish and decided on another playthrough despite there only being two meaningful endings in that game.

I’m not sure how bizarre that sounds . . . at this point, I really feel uncertain about everything and I’m not sure if I’m running away or just trying to figure things out. I don’t know how to feel and I don’t know how to move forward yet.

Struggling Against Personal Apathy

Sometimes, it’s a struggle to fight apathy. Particularly when confronting bleak aspects of the world.

I am in the perfect position to be working on subjects of great import to me, but I find myself struggling with apathy again. I had hoped that I would no longer suffer this stupid problem but here I am, facing it again, and with no rational sense of why. Sometimes, I really don’t understand myself. I despise this self-defeating procrastination.

Perhaps it is atelophobia, that is, the fear of lacking perfection. I definitely had this problem and never properly recognized it until very recently. Maybe it’s the lack of ever following deadlines, maybe it’s this terrible nihilistic concept of how – within the grand scheme of cosmic life – it just doesn’t matter what I do, and maybe it’s the fact I always hate myself for being lazy. I had assumed punishing oneself for laziness was a positive reinforcement, yet according to Kelly McGonigal’s book “The Willpower Instinct”, this is not so. In fact, it’s utterly detrimental and it’s actually better to forgive oneself.

Unlike what most people boast, I have read through a good amount of positive psychology books on getting work done, but I always seem to fail to follow through. I’m always lacking in the step that requires self-monitoring and then the apathy sets in. Oftentimes, I just don’t feel enough to care. The apathy first began with a moral quandary, then acknowledgement over a reality that I didn’t quite like, and then wondering whether life had any significance in the grand scheme of the universe’s life cycle and the heat death of the universe.

I had been struggling with depression throughout my grade school life from fifth grade onto my early college years. The best way to describe the feeling was a detached sense of reality and lack of seeing value in what I felt were trivial and boring aspects of life. Classes, in particular, were of no value to me until I began college and could choose what I wanted. Choice, therefore, was empowering and I hadn’t been able to handle that freedom at first since it felt like every aspect of my life was decided for me. Particularly because my parents kept hounding me about how I could end-up going to juvenile prison if I didn’t strictly listen to them. A ridiculous argument born out of fear and paranoia from the national news and my father’s job, I had never once committed a crime or even attempted anything of the sort. I was always an attentive student and the only real problems were lack of self-respect and inability to deal with failure. My parents are great for financial support, but they’re damn stupid with dealing with anything related to either difficulty or empathizing with people outside of their own paranoid worldview. Admittedly, I probably have aspects of their personality, or perhaps the whole personality, and just don’t recognize it. But, to be perfectly frank, I really despise this part of my life and these tendencies of both my parents. The high school wasn’t all that different either. The high school was either extremely strict or extremely lax in administering regulations and there was never a sensible middle ground. Fights would break out practically every week during my Junior year in high school, the graduation ended in a massive fight with eight police cars coming in to stop the mass violence (at least, by my count before I left), and I was never able to express myself without scorn or derision or paranoia by the faculty when trying to convince them that I wasn’t going to harm people in the school.

I had written an essay related to a scholarship I had hoped to win. Participating in the essay ended-up being one of the worst decisions of my life. After 3 months with no answer, I suddenly got a response 3 days after the Virginia Tech massacre. It came as a shock to the faculty during an emergency conference about an essay that I wrote in which they learned that someone of my skin pigmentation wasn’t a Muslim. This only helped bolster the racism of my classmates who were quick to perceive me as crazy as the essay I had written for a scholarship somehow became public knowledge within the school the very next day after the emergency meeting. As for the reason this fiasco began regarding the material in the essay? I said I was justified in hating members of the faculty for being incompetent. Now, during my high school years, I had been taught and led to believe that rules were the cornerstone of decision-making in a very advanced social process. However, these schisms and general stupidity in rule implementation throughout high school made me believe, at the time, that people in power were the only determinants of the rule-making. And for a so-called democracy, the school system of the US school I went to felt fairly authoritarian in both its theoretical reasoning and practice. Amazingly enough, in college, it was basically confirmed by a few professors that college is for those who are meant to think in a society while grade school is only meant to teach the history of a country and nothing else.

This was one of the influences for a moral quandary that I had realized. I’ve since realized the problem as a result of operant behavior within animals in general and thus a flaw, if one can even call it that, within humans. We humans have a tendency to ignore and to not perceive the tragedies within foreign countries as real. This has been somewhat lessened in influence as a result of social media, but the problem persists because, for the most part, people just pay attention to the general town that they live in and nothing else. They hold psychological biases for their in-group, in this case their country, and don’t perceive the lives of people in foreign countries as having equal value to those among their own populace. The in-group/out-group issue can serve dehumanization campaigns even of people that we do meet day-to-day, such as the current stigma against Muslims and people of Hispanic descent within the US. As I studied more political psychology, I learned the reasons why this was and I realized I couldn’t put my expectations on the general populace to simply “know better” or be knowledgeable as I am in consideration of these pertinent moral and ethical questions. That may sound patronizing but I say that simply because they honestly have no interest in such questions. Admittedly, my reasoning could be little more than pop philosophy but I try to include my readings of psychology in my examination of this geographic fact of life regarding human apathy for those who live outside one’s borders.

The most pertinent reason for my apathy, especially for all of 2013 where I could hardly bring myself to do much of anything, was the issue of drone strikes. I had happened to come upon a video of bombings thanks to Youtube’s recommendations list as a result of watching Chomsky and Chris Hedges videos. I had clicked it not fully knowing what it was and saw a collection of real life bombings caught on camera. For the following months, I woke-up with horrible migraines, chest pain, sometimes I felt like it was hard to breathe, and I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. I had been misled into believing that those bombings were drone strike videos but that wasn’t the case. It was just videos of . . .  typical bombings in different parts of the Middle East. The first time seeing them brought on a sense of overwhelming anger, hate, loathing, and revulsion. The chief emotion that kept wracking me was guilt. I realized whenever someone pays taxes, they pay into that horrific act of destruction and mass death of civilians. I tried discussing this on various forums, not knowing how else to handle it and not wanting to burden my family with it, and I mostly got shut out of various forums. In retrospect, I should have realized that would be the case. However, discussion without any videos on forums which I had never linked such content was also shut out as “trolling” because the lives of people overseas just didn’t matter to the typical US citizen. A harsh truth, but one I continued to observe whenever trying to form a serious discussion over such issues. Whenever serious discussion was met, people would either jeer at me for having compassion for people overseas or they would say that it had nothing to do with them; this is despite the fact that we recognize we’re living in an elected government by the people. The fact is that the overwhelming majority of people don’t care about foreign policy or just what the US actually does overseas to other countries. It doesn’t register into their radar or even their worldview. I didn’t fully comprehend just why until reading “Thinking Fast and Slow” by Daniel Kahneman. However, it should’ve been clear to me when thinking back on my high school years, although even then I would often think about the human power structures of the world itself.

Fortunately, I was slowly able to move on from this crippling depression and guilt, by recognizing that the decision obviously wasn’t mine, that if I could change it then I would, and that recognizing I wasn’t to blame wasn’t an attempt to say to myself that I didn’t care about the impacts of what drone strikes did when they burned alive innocent men, women, and children who had nothing to do with terrorism. Even to this day, it amazes me how we US citizens can argue that Islam is the problem, meanwhile we pay taxes for a drone program that is now bombing and flaying alive innocent people in seven different countries; a fact that we conveniently ignore while touting ourselves as morally superior and ignore how our complacency with such a program continues to create massive terrorist insurgencies throughout the Middle East. Moreover, what are people who see news of their own country and neighboring countries with wreckages from drone bombings suppose to think of us? They would constantly be bombarded with images of people with the same ethnic background as themselves and the same faith as themselves suffering from horrific injuries or seeing the general destruction of such bombings; what are they suppose to think of us? This has had real world consequences, like the revolution in Yemen to oust their country’s leaders.

The last, and probably most normal, of issues related to procrastination and depression, was wondering what significance my life has when I consider the heat death of the universe. Nietzsche’s concept of eternal recurrence helps sometimes but not always. I eventually pulled through and pushed past this one by recognizing the reality that, even if heat death is certain, this is still my life and I should try to maximize my life satisfaction because it is still my experiences. It isn’t wrong to live for personal self-fulfillment but I always struggle with the first step of just pushing forward, it’s always been a struggle for me to do work when I don’t feel like it. I’m not sure how to adequately handle that aspect of beginning a project. I can’t “push through”, I can’t “trick myself”, and I can’t “just do it” as none of those work. The latter, in particular, is shown not to work in psychological studies. I try breaking it up into steps but then procrastinate by reading or watching TV. I think the issue is Atelophobia. I’ll try to remind myself of the Growth mindset as I seem to forget at the most important of moments, but I’m just not sure anymore . .  .

If anyone has any advice, feel free to give me tips on this issue.