I have spent so much time and attention on writing this damn outline that I’ve yet to finish for a book that I don’t plan on writing until many years from now. That probably sounds stupid as fuck, but I’ve learned the hard way that trying to keep all the ideas in your head for the plot of a story will inevitably make you lose it all. It feels like such a snail’s pace where I’m just chiseling all of this down on what feels like stone, but really it is my own System 1 brain that I’m fighting against. I decided to do a check on how much I had written and it was less than I thought. Roughly just 15,000 words for the story outline so far, the rest of it consisting of another 15,000 words went into writing down several of the magic systems for this story. I’ve also been stockpiling on research material to get this story down right. Then, I plan to finally write out the shorter stories I had imagined writing and already done minimal research for. After that, I’m unsure which longform fictional story to do first as each will require copious amounts of research to jot down the story ideas and finish up. Honestly, I feel stupid writing this. Ah well, it won’t matter unless I self-publish anyway. Unfortunately, I’ve been writing so much, my left finger is beginning to twitch sometimes after long periods of writing, I guess I’m just getting old.
Other than that irrelevant info. I’ve lowered the price of my Kindle books. It’s been long enough, I realized my arrogance and ignorance with unrealistic expectations I had for the political books I wrote long ago, but I guess I foolishly assumed they wouldn’t be as big of a failure as they were. I don’t intend to write anymore in the near-future unless something changes, but I doubt it. I should have been discussing the January 6th riots or the colossal idiocy of the Afghanistan withdrawal by the US, but I couldn’t muster enough effort. I wondered why for the longest time, why I just couldn’t bring myself to write about politics anymore this year. I finally realized a few days ago that it is because I had fully given-up on the US on an emotional level and it just took me awhile to really accept. I don’t believe in the US anymore. Why be angry about horrible things happening in a country unless I believed that those events could be rectified or changed? If I were upset and criticizing the US government, that would mean that I still cared. US politicians clearly only want a complaint US public and mistake apathy for a healthy and calm society, it seems. I’m of the opinion the US government is going to die sooner than later, unexpectedly, and probably triggered by the incompetent Supreme Court of the US which nobody with a thinking brain has any faith in anymore either. The only thing people hear with them getting angry and shouting back at the public – especially the most recent Supreme Court appointee under Trump who seems more like a political appointment that thoroughly destroyed the credibility of the Supreme Court – is “we are corrupt, we are incompetent, and our incompetent decisions will encourage the overthrow of the US government for years to come because the US Constitution and previous Supreme Court decisions no longer mean anything to us.” If any of them cared about the credibility of the Supreme Court or the stability of the government, then senior Senators and Congresspeople along with the oldest justices would retire since it is clear they no longer have the competence to run the government nor the confidence of the public. The House Congresspeople are fixed on their positions mostly because of gerrymandering.
I’ll try to muster enough energy to criticize on the basis of human rights and perhaps try to give a full critique of the problems I see in the US. But struggling to even write such critiques anymore is so debilitating that I find myself switching to TV shows, games, and books. I’ve become the very thing I hated regarding the apathy of the world during my college years. I guess that just makes me more of a failure than I thought. Anything I perceive to be negative news or having disastrous consequences for the stability of the US that I see from the US government – Congress, Presidential administrations, or the Supreme Court – or the public such as willful blindness to child rape in Churches, or the wealthy committing heinous acts such as cases like Epstein and how survivors are being devalued or tricked by a so-called compensation fund. . . well, all I can say is: We, the US citizens, are a bunch of filthy, stupid savages incapable of critical thinking. That is the only conclusive answer that I have come to, in my whole life, being born and living here in the US.
The changes to the Kindle prices should come in the next few days as I’ve yet to be given any problems for making those changes by Amazon. People might wonder why I’m putting them all on 0.99 cents USD since I have the full Faith in Doubt book and the same book broken up into two parts. But honestly, they’re not making sales anymore and an extra $0.99 cents if someone enjoyed the first book isn’t much of a loss for people living in the West and I lowered them to the lowest possible prices in other countries to be as equivalent as Amazon would allow in purchasing a cheap product. They weren’t being purchased for the last couple of years anyway.