After I walked around the backyard a few weeks ago, I decided to take a shower and then my foot started shooting blood like a mini-geyser. Literally shooting blood out of my ankle. It freaked me the fuck out and I put pressure on it since I didn’t want to die today. I told my brother and mom after managing to put some clothes on. We called the emergency ambulance as I put pressure on it and emergency told us it was fine when they inspected it and recommended going to Urgency care instead of Emergency due to COVID cases. It had stopped shooting blood by the time they came and then we bandaged it soon after they left. They assured us it wasn’t life-threatening. Also, since I didn’t go septic (medical term for being unable to walk or talk from how they described it) and could talk and function then it shouldn’t be life threatening. One of them said my body wouldn’t let that happen or something. They recommended Urgency care. We eventually went to one near a popular mall. The Urgency Care treated it and said I shouldn’t walk or shower till its healed.

After 5 days of exercising via doing cardio in my backyard, my ankle yet again leaked blood. I went to a podiatrist (a foot specialist) and he recommended me to another set of doctors. Overall, I feel I’ve been given the run around from the assortment of specialists I’ve gone to. This has made me feel frustrated and helpless. I’ve been focusing on making changes to my personal living space in the meantime by adding a double-monitor holder and replacing my television and cable modem with two Computer monitors in which I hooked-up all my video game consoles. I don’t use television at all and haven’t for years, so I think this change is for the best. Apart from that, I was eagerly looking forward to SMT3 Nocturne HD Remaster news; I had hoped there’d be both a higher difficulty and an extra Superboss (preferably an extra form for a certain TDE-route exclusive boss). Instead, Macca and level up DLCs and other “planned DLC” for music. It’s been very disappointing and there’s not much hope that it’ll have anything that’ll offer a challenge that I wasn’t already accustomed to in the PS2 version of SMT3 Nocturne. I’ve been incensed by the quick-save feature that’s been added for the PS4 version although I understand the reasons why it had to be in the Nintendo Switch version. Apart from Raidou’s playthrough of the True Demon Route of SMTIII: Nocturne, there seems to be very little reason to purchase this HD Remaster. I hope that changes; I would really like an extra harder difficulty or a Superboss but as time progresses . . . it seems more and more doubtful. The set-up of “planned DLC” is already a scam and I’m really dismayed it has already become the norm. For all the faults of Strange Journey Redux, it didn’t add DLC exclusive Superbosses like Shin Megami Tensei IV and IV Apocalypse. I wouldn’t mind this set-up so much in an HD Remaster, but it seems like we’re not even getting that much unless they’re really waiting until the last minute to reveal some added bosses or superboss.

My Faith in Doubt sales and borrowing via Kindle Select has plummeted; I’ve decided to try giving them for free more often now. I added Octo 16^th – 20^th to a week of free sales. I don’t really expect much though. I’ve felt completely disappointed with the lack of any real feedback or sales. Also, I’ve totally disappointed myself with being unable to finish this fantasy story and not making much progress. A mix of all these stupid and useless hospital visits, fear of COVID-19, wasting time tracking news of the Nocturne HD Remaster (I had wrongfully thought the moon phases meant additional content news when going on full moon but nothing occurred), and I suppose wasting time on social media has hampered progress. Apart from general failings in a consistent sleep schedule, there was also focusing on general gaming news that did nothing but bring disappointment with all the delays. The only silver lining has been that I’ve gotten a good amount of reading done for a manga I’m really liking. Still, the overwhelming disappointment with my personal failings is all that’s been on the forefront of my mind for the most part.